Ever wonder why some writing is so confusing? You read it once. It makes no sense. You read it again and hope for the best.
Most business, legal, and government writing rely on lengthy and unclear sentences and plenty of nouns.
Nouns stop the forward motion of the sentence and often make the sentence longer, like this:
The addition of a 10-minute warm-up routine made the winning of the gold medal possible for him.
Why not punch up the sentence with specific, active verbs? This generally makes sentences shorter, and it definitely makes them easier to understand, like this:
When he added a 10-minute warm-up routine, he won the gold medal.
Government writing is full of nouns that should be verbs. This example is from the Johnson Space Center (JSC) Handbook:
Johnson Space Center Handbook
101.3.1 Purpose
JSC recognizes that to become a center of excellence for occupational safety and health, there must be more than just compliance with regulations and standards. The goal can only be accomplished through development and implementation of a comprehensive program stressing improvement and excellence. JSC and contractor employees at all levels must be active participants.
JSC further recognizes that environmental protection and emergency preparedness are natural adjuncts to its occupational safety and health programs. This handbook documents these programs as well.
JSC also recognizes that a successful program requires a vision and commitment to improvement and excellence that extends beyond the boundaries of JSC-administered programs, facilities, and worksites. This dedication to excellence will manifest itself in exemplary safety and health programs and also in associated environmental protection and emergency preparedness programs necessary to support appropriate forums identified in this handbook.
Change nouns to verbs
Confused yet? I know I am! Notice the nouns in this clause: “The goal can only be accomplished through development and implementation of a comprehensive program.”
Here’s the same clause using vivid verbs: “Develop and implement a comprehensive program to accomplish these goals.” Ah, now I get it.
Now it’s your turn: Rewrite the example from the Johnson Space Center Handbook. Change nouns into verbs wherever you can. Make this writing so clear that an 8th grader can understand it.
